You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
