do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
