hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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