I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
