can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
