I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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