In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
