after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
