I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
