Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
