Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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