He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
