it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
