We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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