yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
