ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love having hate sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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