Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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