After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
