Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
