He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
