Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think my moral compass just broke
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
