Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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