I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
