k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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