Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
