i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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