oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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