just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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