If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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