So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
