Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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