I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
