Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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