She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize