So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
