a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize