actually, I'm a sock model
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
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