I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
