What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
