They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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