Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
