Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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