By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
this will be a night to untag.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
