best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
