lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
