tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
