I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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