I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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