He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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