and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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