they need to just BURY HIM!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
