a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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