Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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