Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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