im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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