Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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