I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
