im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
