There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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