"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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