I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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