Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
